Watch Out For Someday

There are 7 days in a week and none of them are Someday!

Someday is a seductive thief.  It robs our time, passion and creativity.

Someday promises a lot and delivers very little.

We spend time with Someday intrigued and seduced – only later realizing what a waste of time Someday really was.

Someday is the killer of now.

Someday causes us to lose momentum, saps our energy and clouds our focus.

Someday stops us from accomplishing incredible things.

We avoid Today because of Someday.  Today is the most powerful allay we have in everything we do – present, available and willing.  Yet, we leave Today, with its’ practicality and power, to follow Someday into flights of fancy that like star-dust swirls around the air for a short then disappears like a puff dream.

It is time to leave Someday to its own devices.  There are plenty of fools that are conned by Someday’s charms. Someday will be OK left to its’ own devices.

Instead we need to meet up with today.

Today demands hard work and tough play.

Today requires us to focus apply ourselves.

Today requires us to dig deep and make things happen.

Today can sometimes makes us uncomfortable because we see ourselves so clearly.  We see our weaknesses, our deficiencies and our fears.

When we spend time with Today and use its’ wisdom, learn its’ lessons and maximizes its’ opportunity, we will find ourselves in the middle of an exciting and prosperous life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Start

Often we get paralyzed because we have so much to do.  The list gets longer.  The tasks get harder.  The deadlines get shorter.  We get overwhelmed.  It is understandable.

When we get paralyzed we end up doing nothing.  We get stuck.  We are not sure which way to turn.  The situation only gets worse.

There is a remedy.  Just start!

When you start the project things begin to flow.  A slow start speeds things up.  You become energized and increase your capacity.

There an old joke:

Q:  How do you eat an elephant?

A:  One bite at a time

Sometimes we think too big.  We try to do it all!  It overwhelms us.  If we break it down to bite sized pieces, we would get it done faster, better, and easier.

So what project do you have on your plate that has been paralyzing you?  Just pick a small something and start.  It won’t be perfect (because it is never perfect), but it will get done.  Before you know it you will have finished the project and you can start on the next project.  Just like eating an elephant – one bite at a time!

 

How do you want to be remembered?

Ask anyone what made Babe Ruth memorable or distinguished, you will hear “home run king.” Ask about Henry Ford, and you are likely to hear “creator of car” (erroneously) , inventor of the assembly line, the five dollar a day livable wage.

It is interesting to note that Babe Ruth also held the record for most strike-outs. Henry Ford went bankrupt five times before he was successful.

Even though they had notoriety for less desirable traits, they are remembered for the outstanding positive things they accomplished.

People have short memory for failings and long memory for outstanding achievements. You have never heard anyone talking about Babe Ruth being home run king and someone responding by saying, “Yeah, but look at how many times the guy struck out!” Instead they agree that there are no more players like the Babe.

Anyone who ever accomplished anything great, had a string of failures, setbacks and challenges along the way. The bigger the success, the bigger the lessons and failures.

The salient point is that people remember the successes. Once you have succeeded, the failures are relegated to cosmic dust of distant memories.

When fear is paralyzing you, and you are afraid to fail – to move forward. Go for it with gusto. Keep going until you taste that sweet taste of earned success.

When you are tempted to throw in the towel, just remember: when you throw in the towel and give up, your failure will be remembered. Push through to success and your failures will be forgotten.

It’s your choice. How do you want to be remembered?

Why Does An Overnight Success Take 15 Years?

Whatever we seek to change,  we think that we can make a decision and universal forces magically appear to make our desires happen immediately.  In the minute of inspiration we have determination and concrete will.  We believe it is going to absolutely happen – and happen fast.  It is all part of our instant gratification society.  We want it and we want it now!

We think we can lose 30 lbs this month, make a million dollars this month, or create  magical relationships that will last forever this month.  And we are sure we can accomplish it without making any drastic change in our habits.

The reality is different.  People evolve.  They are shaped by their surroundings, their experiences, their thoughts.  As their experiences grow so does their capacity to succeed in any given endeavor.  More experience leads to more knowledge.  More knowledge leads to better decisions.  Better decisions leads to better experiences.  The path of learning.  We become deeper, wiser and stronger.

The process is important.  As we grow, our abilities to do more grow, too.  When we have spent years pursuing worthwhile endeavors we become strong, knowledgable and insightful. When we hit that point our experiences come together and put us is a position that we succeed.  We have created a niche.  We have focused our efforts.  We have deepened our understanding. It is at that point that we bring great benefit to others.  We have risen above the others and have surpassed those without the determination and perseverance.   Our perspective, knowledge and wisdom becomes very valuable.

Success comes from having something unique in the marketplace.  People see what you have done.  They see what you have become. They want a piece of it.  They want the connection. They want the depth.  It’s not created overnight.  It takes time, thought, effort, deliberate practice, and ongoing improvement to stand out.  When you get to that point you realize you are on a journey.  Yet, you also know that you are still a student and there is still much to learn, do and grow.   You become more attractive because of the humility that comes with the knowledge that the journey never ends and you never can reach the summit.  Yet, you strive to get there anyway. .

There is no other way to do it.  It takes time.   And that is why and overnight success takes 15 years.

The Three Worst Words In The English Language

There are three awful words that are spoken all over the world.  They are the stuff of broken dreams and unrealized vision.  They are the salt that keeps the cauldron of regret at a fierce boil.  They are the words that beat us back into disappointment and weakness.  They are uttered so often that many of us are not aware of their strength and danger.

For most of us life is full of regret.  Usually we do not regret what we did wrong, but rather we regret what we were afraid to do at all.  We regret out missed opportunities.  We regret not acting and making things happen.  Imagine sitting at the end of your life with these lethal words –   could’ve, would’ve and should’ve.

Live in away that the three worst words in the English language never need to be spoken or thought of again.

It’s Not Just About The Money – It’s About Your Resources

Say the word “resources” and automatically people think money.  And it is true.  Money is an important resource. It is well-recognized.  People understand the need to manage money.  The clearer your vision and understanding of what money can do, the better you manage it.

A person must have a respect for the resource in order to manage it properly.  Respecting the power of money is often the difference between wealth and poverty. It is why some people save their money and others waste theirs.  The former have vision and understanding of long-term benefits and options.  The later just see today.  There is no vision.  There is no respect.  They lose the power of the resource.

There are many other resources in our lives that we view differently than we view money.  Maybe that is a mistake and we should those other resources the same way we do money.  Some examples are Time, Love, Emotions, Energy, Food, Relationships, Focus and hundreds of other parts of our daily life.

If we looked at our time like we look at money and used it powerfully instead of wasting it or frittering it away how different would our lives look?  Would we pick our projects differently?  We we say yes to all the things that we say yes to and later regret?  Would we use it in ways that create impact and meaning in life?

In our emotional world, if we were careful to expend our emotions in places where they had the biggest payoff (not necessarily the most drama) how would our lives be different?  If we valued and respected our emotions would we let go of the petty?  If we let go of the petty would we deepen the relationships that create meaning and excitement?

I am not suggesting that we should be robots, devoid of spontaneity and a sense of adventure and playfulness, any more than we should be tightwads, never allowing ourselves enjoyment from our money.  However there is a cost benefit relationship in everything that we do.  When we start to look at life as a collection of resources and manage them accordingly, we will have live in a way that fills us and makes us ever so powerful.  It becomes a life of intentional design and not a life of chance reactions.

Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Lousy

We have all heard those well-intentioned words for parents, teachers and leaders;  “Anything worth doing is worth doing well”

And it is absolutely true.  However it is a total dream killer.  The thought is so engrained that echoes in our minds.  It plagues us when we learn new skills.  It holds us back from being great at a host of things.

Here is the problem:  You can’t do anything well until you have done it lousy.  Can you imagine telling a beginning piano student “anything worth doing is worth doing well?”  Preposterous!!  They can’t do it well.  They need to learn the skill and practice, practice , practice.  After becoming proficient in a skill and deliberately practicing to stretch ones abilities, he begins to do it well.

Before you can do it well you have to do it lousy.  Then you go from lousy to terrible to bad to not so bad to decent to respectable to pretty good to very good to WOW.  Even geniuses can’t start at WOW.

When we hold the thought of “Anything worth doing is worth doing well,” we shut down to trying new things.  If we cant do it well it isn’t worth doing.  We play it safe. We do things we know how and stay in our comfort zone.  We never reach our potential or find greatness because we are afraid of doing it lousy.

On the other hand.  If our motto had been anything worth doing is worth doing lousy [at first], we could step out a little easier.  We could lose the inner conflict.  We could try new things and be willing to step out of our comfort zone.  Once we can do it lousy for a while we could step it up to bad and ultimately good and maybe even WOW.

Go try something new and if it is worth doing, enjoy being lousy at it at first.

What To Do About Slow Progress

It is uniquely human to want constant growth and change.  However great our situation is we want to make it better.  That is a really good thing!

Without the desire to create something new or a better way to get something done our society would lose its innovation.  All inventions and technological breakthroughs have come through someone either wanting to make dramatic change to fix a problem or someone wanting to find an easier way.  Those breakthroughs are  progress.  They are all around us.  They are accelerating at breakneck speeds.

In 1899 Charles Dwell was the head of the patents office for the US Government.  He advocated closing the patents office because “anything that could ever be invented has already been invented.”  To us this sounds crazy.  This was before refrigeration, lightbulbs, automobiles, electronics, computers, cell phones, and thousands of other items we take for granted every day.

Today we are easily overwhelmed by the speed of things.  Overnight internet billionaires and the speed of doing business has made us very impatient.  We want it and we want it now.  BUT there is a process and sometimes the learning process dictates that we need to progress slowly.  Thomas Edison conducted 10,000 experiments with the incandescent lightbulb until it finally worked.  If he would have done 10 experiments a day it would him taken him over three years.  He tried something and kept refining it or switching directions until – EUREKA!  He got his lightbulb.

We have a tendency to quit when we are making slow progress.  We want it now. But it is really important to realize that slow progress is progress.  Pushing forward is where the breakthroughs happen.

So what should you do about slow progress?  First – Celebrate.  Then see if there is something that you can do to learn the important lessons to make the needed changes to have the trickle of progress turn into a flow then into a gush.

It’s Not Perfect. Deal With It!

We all have things we wish were different –  different financial circumstances, different family, job, genetics, personalities, health, charisma, homes cars.  The list could go on forever.

When things don’t go the way we want them to go we get grumpy, complain about how unfair it is, or fight to make it different.  Sometimes we can and sometimes we can’t.

There are many things in life we control.  The vast majority of those things are internal.  We can control our thoughts, actions and behavior.   WE can’t control others.  Getting angry, carrying on or willing it to be different doesn’t change a thing.  It is what it is.  It’s not perfect.  Deal with it!

G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

The wisdom to know the difference defines a life of equanimity vs a life of frustration.  Accepting things that you can’t change allows you to get creative in the areas that you can affect change.

There are always options on the table.  If you are in a lousy Job, for example, you can decide to stay or move on.  If you stay there are consequences.  If you move on there are consequences.  The way to make the best decision is to ask the following question:

In looking at the goal I am working to accomplish, which decision serves me best in the long-term?

If your goal includes the job or industry you might want to stick it out.  If the job is undermining everything you are trying to do in life and there are no onerous consequences, moving on might be the right answer.

Looking at our daily challenges through the lens of which decision serves me the best in the long-term is a way to pull back from the emotion and start working on the things that you do control.

The High Cost of a Shortcut

Have you ever been stuck in traffic and decided you will try to find a shortcut?  You turn into a subdivision get lost and end up coming out the same place you started.

Life’s shortcuts are often like that.  We are impatient for something to happen so we try to take a short cut.  It always ends in disaster.  People that try to make fast money often end up in jail – or at least in debt up to their eyeballs.  People that try to make relationships move forward to quickly know the ultimate pain as it ends of falling apart.  Anyone who has ever lost weight on a crash diet knows what it is like to gain it all back and then some.

We want money, love, health, etc to come to us in heaps and we want it now without having to create the situations that make them grow.  But really our lives are more like a farm.  The farmer does all the preliminary work.  He tills the soil, plants the seeds and waters the plants.  He is patient and knows that there are a lot of things happening below the surface.  He fertilizes  the soil that nurtures his crops.  It creates a rich and nutrient full environment to help build strong plants.  He prepares for the harvest when it is ready.  He allows the process to work.  He knows there are no shortcuts.

We live in a fast paced world.  We have become inpatient.  We are always looking for shortcuts.  Shortcuts always come with high prices.  It cost us in time, money and relationships.  The cost is always higher that the savings.  We have all experienced thinking we have a great shortcut this time.  We are left disappointed again.

Think like a farmer.  Prepare the soil.  Plan the seeds.  Nurture the plant.  Create the right environment to have richer experiences.  Enjoy the harvest.  The cost of the shortcut is way too hight and the payoff is usually too low.

 

Prospecting vs. Marketing

The path to getting business has changed.

We always spoke about prospecting.  It’s like mining for gold.  You push a lot of dirt to uncover the gold.  You have a lot of interviews.  You are looking for the gold.  Gold is ideal clients.  While panning and moving a lot of “dirt” you end up making some sales –  not ideal clients, but commissions all the same.

You are living the 80/20 rule.  80% of your clients account for 20% of your income and the other 20% of clients account for 80% of your income.  Most of your headaches are found in your bottom 80% of clients and customers.

Most sales systems have a first step of prospecting.  Go see the people.  Cold Calls.  Hard sell.  500 different closing techniques.  You call them.  Get them to buy .  The old way to get new business.

Marketing on the other hand is an entirely different approach.

Marketing is about attraction.  I don’t mean to get woo-woo on anybody.  I am not talking metaphysics, The Secret, energy fields.  I am talking about a magnet.  I am talking about being the resource that your ideal customer or client will seek out.  It is about them calling you.  It is a different conversation.

When you market, you let people know that you understand their major problems better than they do.  You show them that you have solutions tho their problems.  You give them the opportunity to raise their hands and say “Please help me!  I need what you have.”

So here is the choice the way I see it:

Prospecting                                                          Marketing

Moving dirt to find ideal customers              Ideal customers raise their hands
You call them                                              They call you
Pushing                                                       Attracting
Moving product                                          Solving problems
Hard sell                                                      Soft sell
Closing                                                        Natural outcome of interaction

Proper marketing gets rid of the tension.  It allows you to reject difficult clients and customers.  It makes business fun and exciting again.

The Brilliance of Packaging and Delivery

We have discussed the importance of the experience the customer or client has with your business.  It is the difference between having raving fans and plain old customers. When you maximize the experience, the customer is not just buying your goods or services.  He is interacting.  He is connecting.  He is deepening his relationship.

Let me illustrate in a non business environment.  A man had been in a relationship with a woman and decided it was time to pop the big question. He got the ring size, went to a well-known jeweler, and paid $10,000 for a stunning engagement ring.  He had the jeweler put it in a burgundy colored box with a felt pillow inside.  He bought a bottle of Champagne, two dozen roses and dinner reservations at the best restaurant in New York.

After dinner, they went on a horse-drawn carriage ride through Central Park. It was a beautiful evening with a clear sky and a full moon.  While enjoying the Champagne, he took out the ring, opened the box and asked the women to honor him by becoming his wife.  All very romantic.

We can take the same exact story and leave everything in place, however change one detail.  Instead of having the ring in a $ .50 box lined with felt, the man brought the diamond ring (still worth $10,000) in a paper bag.  Still a wonderful night, but the climax fell flat for just a small difference in the packaging and delivery.  The difference in perspective of the entire experience is minuscule.

The ring cost the same.  He brought the same Champagne and flowers. The restaurant was still one of New York’s finest.  The ride through Central Park on a horse-drawn carriage was still as romantic.  The class of his proposal was endearing.  The only difference was the 2 inch felt box.  The cost difference between the box and the bag waas pennies. In the big picture an almost non-existent difference.  Yet, the impact on the experience is huge.

There is an important lesson here.  We can tweak the way we package and deliver our goods and services in ways that produce different experiences.  This is true in  personal relationships, employee relationships, business relationships, in fact, in all human relationships.  Others will remember the experience of our packaging and delivery long after the product has outlived its usefulness.

If the product or service is shoddy, exquisite packaging and delivery will only make the dissatisfaction worse.  The customer will feel, rightfully so, that he was conned. However, with a quality product or service, the packaging and delivery will linger in the customer’s mind and only add to their satisfaction.

Walt Disney once said, “Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and bring their friends.”  The packaging and delivery are the little things that make the experience strong vibrant and exciting.

The Truth About Excuses

We are all well aware of what excuses are.  We use them.   We despise when people offer them to us.

Many people and companies try to adopt a “No Excuses” policy.  It only partly works.

I have been thinking about the subject of excuses and why they are so lame, used so much and universally hated.  I have a theory based in the psyche of mankind that I think could shed some light and give some perspective.

What is an excuse?

In reality, it is a reason to explain bad behavior.  Notice when someone does something very well and downplay their role we don’t call it an excuse.  We call it being humble.

Excuses are different.  When we have behaved badly or sub par and we don’t want to own our decisions or behavior. We save face by offering an excuse.  We use them to justify unacceptable behavior or poor performance.  We use them to get out of uncomfortable situations.  We shift the blame anywhere besides where it belongs – with ourselves.

The reason I was late was…..

I didn’t hit my numbers because….

If _____ wouldn’t have happened then….

It is abrogating the responsibility to a behavior.

Sometimes it is not so bad.  Two minutes late for a meeting and using the old traffic excuse is somewhat harmless with most people.

Other times it is a major issue. I spoke rudely and crassly because I was _______(tired, sick, in a bad mood, angry) becomes less acceptable.  (Your bad mood should not mess up my day.)

Using and excuse is the opposite of taking responsibility.  When I say, “There is no excuse and I am ashamed of bad behavior,” it is admirable.  It is hard not to respect someone who takes total responsibility.  On the other hand it is hard to respect someone who always has some excuse for their poor behavior or failings.

Making a decision of “No excuses” is making a decisions that “I am responsible.”  It takes a person from being unimpressive, unattractive, and weak to impressive, attractive, respected.

Next time you want to make an excuse, ask yourself what bad behavior am I trying to excuse.  Then take the responsibility to that behavior fully.  Communicate why and how you were responsible and how you will make sure it never happens again.  Apologize gracefully and move on.

 

The 1 Percent

Seth Godin wrote something that is intriguing.  “Well rounded is the opposite of sharp!”

When you are well-rounded, you don’t make too many waves.  You relate to everyone and they relate to you.  When you are sharp you make things happen.  You are a rock star to some and a scoundrel to others.  You light fires for some and extinguish flames for others.  You open doors for some and lock gates for others.

Here is the big thought.  YOU CAN’T BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY!

Think for a minute about your own personal preferences.  Do want a well-rounded Doctor, Lawyer, or Accountant?  Or do you prefer a cutting edge specialist that shines?

Do you pay to go to a concert of someone with nice music (well-rounded)?  Or do you go to a concert from someone who rocks your world?

Do you read books, magazines and articles that are pleasant, not creating any waves?  Or do you look for reading material that will turn your world upside down.

It is the 1 percent of the world that is willing to step out.  The 99%, in the words of Henry David Thoreau, “lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them”

You don’t need Millions of people loving you.  Affect the 1 percent that will resonate with your message and you will have everything you need in every way you need it.

Forget well-rounded, be sharp!

Embracing Your Quirks

There are a few mind expending people who energize me when hear I their thoughts and insights.  They come from a wide range of fields.  I started thinking about what they had in common – a difficult task.  But I think I came up with something that surprised me a little bit.  They all embrace their quirks.  They don’t hide them.  They don’t distance themselves from them.  They don’t try to change them.  They embrace them.

I have discussed the importance of being authentic and real in past posts.  This, however, takes it to a new level.  They don’t just put their best forward.  They put all of THEMSELVES forward.  They celebrate their quirks and as far as I can tell, their followers love them for it.

Look around our world.  How many people are hiding big parts of themselves because of shame or fear?  Yet, the same part that they are hiding is exactly the part that could make them so endearing.

Think of a few examples in different fields.

Bloggers:  Seth Godin, Derek Sivers, Leo Babuta

Comedians:  Gabriel Iglesias, Steven Wright, Bill Cosby

Business Leaders:  Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Warren Buffet, Donald Trump

Radio Hosts:  Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Don Imus

We could go on forever.  These people affect others.  You love them or hate them and they are perfectly OK with that.  They all have their quirks and they are not afraid to put them out in the public domain.

It just got me thinking.  What would happen if I was ready to bring all of myself to the game – quirks and all?  Would that be liberating?  Would I have a bigger impact on the world around me?  Would I find new levels that I could climb to?

I think yes.  In contemplating this post, I have come to believe that greatness cannot be attained without first embracing your quirks.  They are what makes you YOU.

What do you think?

People Do Judge A Book By Its Cover

Most business people make a huge mistake.  They think that people judge them by the quality of the work that they do.  It is seldom true.

Doing lousy work will hurt you.  Especially in the long run.  However, most people have limited abilities to judge your work.  Lay people can’t judge industries that they are not intimately familiar with.  This is really important!  Your business is judged by its’ cleanliness.  You products are judged by its’ packaging.  You competence is judged by your “bedside” manner.

Think back to some of your own experience with physicians, accountants or attorneys.  How did you know if they did a good job for you?  Think about your last experience with a mechanic, electrician or a plumber.  How did you know if you should be satisfied or not?  Think back to restaurant you have visited.  How much or your experience had to do with the ambiance, decor and presentation?

The answer to all the above is what you experienced when you were with them.  How you felt.  Your observations about things totally unrelated to their field. It was all about you and your experience.  If the experience was good, they are good.  If the experience was bad, they are bad.  We project our experience onto their competence.  If the experience was WOW (not necessarily tied to their expertise) you will speak about it to other, telling them about the wonderful experience you had at ____________.

The truth is awesome practitioners can be rude, dirty and disorganized.  And totally incompetent practitioners can be pleasant, organized and smell delightful. Human nature is judgmental.  We need some way to judge and compare, so we use the tools we have which often leads us to poor decisions.

Here is the point.  Be great at your chosen profession.  I would never encourage mediocrity.  However. GIVE YOUR CLIENTS OR CUSTOMER THE EXPERIENCE OF A LIFETIME.  If you do you will never be short on clients and customers.   If you know they are going to judge the “other stuff”, make sure the “other stuff” is awesome.  Add something new and unexpected that will create fo buzz and give them a story to tell. They are going to judge the quality of your work by those things anyway, so why not make them impressive.